Single Mama Tales It All

We all got “Good Hair”…

Posted by: SingleMamaTalesItAll on: September 4, 2012

When you get chance check out the trailer to the movie Good Hair with Chris Rock…. then read my blog


I can remember when I was younger the main thing my mama always said was, I cant wait till you get a little older so I perm your hair cause its just to thick. Now my mama wasnt mad at my hair or thought my hair was ugly, it just took from start to finish almost 3hours to do. I HATED getting my hair down! With. A. Passion.  Yet with hate and fear of burned ears from the hot comb, I always waited on Sunday eager and ready to go so I could get to school looking “pretty” with no naps. If you click that link, then you have a idea what my hair looked like. Or at least thats what I thought my hair looked like. “Good hair” use to the in the deal and everyone was trying to achieve it. If you were biracial most times it was said that was automatic good hair. To me “good hair” stayed super soft, comb could just go thru it with out a snag. Lets not forget the infamous baby hair you laid down with a tooth brush. Most importantly it never ever kinked. So I keep a perm, some blue magic grease, and a toothbrush. Wow. Yeah, that was how I rolled trying to achieve what I presumed was “good hair”. Took me some time to learn we ALL have good hair. Your hair, my hair, her hair, their hair. Biracial does not give you “good hair” status. Indian in your family dont either. Took me some time but I learned my hair is good because its my hair and I love whether anyone else does. I use judge people by their hair in my younger immature days. Wished I didnt but hey its part of a past I have matured from.

Fast forward almost 25yrs and 4 kids in to life. I notice my friend talking about transitioning to natural ( perm free hair ) and I said to myself, why would anyone want to be perm free. She chopped of her hair and look beautiful. Just a beautiful as she did with her weave, perm and pressed hair. My eyes opened up almost instantly.  Some transition without doing the big chop, and some transition by doing the big chop and cutting out all the chemicals in the hair.  I suggest doing some research and seeing what is best for you. Me personally im transiting without doing the big chop. I havent had a perm since last November 2011 and since then I have made a effort to embrace my natural hair in its natural state. From time to time I may wear a protective style such as braids or a latch hook.

I write this post because I look back and see where I really have grown a lot mentally. Noway would I ever look at a woman head and see the beauty in her kinky curls, or a fro. Never would I have found a TWA cute at all. Once I stopped and truly look at my hair and other natural ladies, I immediately saw a whole new cute. No longer did I see ugly nappy hair. I have learned to appreciate my texture which is a 4d,e and see the true beauty that always was in my face.

When I finally decided to stop perms and press, you tube became my best friend. One night I remember looking up and 3hrs had past by. There are hundreds if not thousands of videos posted to show you how to style your hair. How surprise was I when I can across some videos of hairs styles I had always seen, but assumed the person had good hair. Going thru the videos all I keep saying was ” Oh that style wasn’t because of good hair, she probably she just twisted it, pinned it and took it loose. There are many many ways you can manipulate the hair and create these supposedly “good hair” styles I was seeing. Never knew it. It was really a eye opener to learn about something I should of embraced years ago. My mother wore her natural in the 70’s but soon as the pressing comb and perms got popular she ditched her pick for lye ( now no lye relaxers)  and never talked to me about my natural hair. I just know she would say my roots were getting nappy time for a touch up or a good press. That’s all I ever knew.

Basically this post is to be of encouragement to someone thinking of going natural and letting go of the perms. Old habits die hard. Just remember no matter how you wear your hair dont let anyone tell you how your wear it is wrong. Long as your happy, wear how you want. I have people who talk about my hair and just hate it since I have stop perming. OH WELL HELL.  Thats my motto. 🙂

Below you see a couple of hair styles I wear. Im still transitioning and have a while before all traces of perm is out. So if your transitioning or thinking about it, please share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you.


My lil up do fro

Twist out ( 2 strand twist taken a loose )


3 Responses to "We all got “Good Hair”…"

I did the big chop on July 1st. Most people don’t like my hair – but I LOVE my hair. Having said that, my 8 year old’s hair is so thick, and I don’t know how to deal with it. So she has a texturizer. My 6 year’s hair is think too – but hers is curly and wavy, what many people would call “good”, because she’ll never “need” a relaxer. But her hair is difficult to do as well, because curly hair, by nature, is tangled hair. Ugh! BOTH of my girls have a “nice” grade of hair, but both heads of hair take HOURS to do. I hate it. Which is why I guess I cut off mine – because a wash ‘n go is amazing!
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Congrats! I know you rock that TWA! 🙂 I can relate, my 10yr old DD hair takes 3hrs hours from start to finish. She loves a wash n go and mostly sports a fro and twist. Recently I did a cold rod set and she got the cutest curls. Ive learned patience and planning. Yes wash n go’s are the best!

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